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Bye Bye Bertie

by Christopher John Campion

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One of the songs in an upcoming theatrical production currently under construction....


Bye Bye Bertie

That Bye Bye Bertie he's a helluva guy
Woke up early when he fell from the sky
Said that he'd been traveling to worlds beyond
when they fished him out of Schillerman's pond
they stood him upright and he stunk like booze
Had these strange etchings on the soles of his shoes
Yeah his eyes were wild, his face forlorn
When bar legend Bye Bye Bertie was born....

Frozen Frankie was a friend of Bert's
Lived in the parking lot right next to the Hertz
Was always tugging out of frozen drinks
And talkin' to ya thru a series of blinks
Was once a captain of industry
Fortune 500 or so says he
Went from there to following his bliss
Guess all that bliss is what led him to this
He said, "I know what's up so I'm layin' 'em down....
not long on luck, just got a talent for stayin' around."

Boozy Susie was the queen of them all
With her bags from the shopping mall
She'd hand out presents right there in the bar
The joke was she had a sleigh not a car
She said it just gave her such a lift
Finding someone the exact right gift
She'd sometimes cry after she'd had a few
But thru those tears she had a smile for you

She'd say, "oh that song that's playing now...
what is that song that's playing?
Reminds me of an old friend...
think he used to do it with his band
Oh that song that's playing now...what is that song that's playing?
Reminds me of a time frame when I was living by a different name
Oh that's song that's playing my mind is blown by the song playing....
La la la la-la-la...la la la la la-la-la...."

Saw Bye Bye Bertie just the other day
Full head of hair not one of 'em gray....
Said, "Come on and tell me what's your secret Bert?"
And he pointed to his heart thru his shirt
Said, "everyday I like to laugh and sing and not sweat any one big thing."
Then told a story how he knew Glenn Frey
That Bye Bye Bertie still a helluva guy....

He said "I know what's up so I'm laying' 'em down...
Not long on luck, just got a talent for staying' around...
I know what's up so I'm laying' 'em down....
Not long on luck, just got a habit of staying' around."



released April 5, 2024
Christopher John Campion- Vocals, rhythm guitar, harmonica, synths
James Chan- Lead guitar, bass
Bennett Lagreca- Drums

Written by Christopher John Campion
Recorded, engineered, and mixed by James Chan
Produced by James Chan and Christopher John Campion at Hi-Shelf Studios Long Island City, NY

Mastered by Warren Russell Smith


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Christopher John Campion New York, New York

Christopher John Campion is a singer-songwriter/author known for his rollicking off-Broadway music-monologue-piece, Escape From Bellevue and the acclaimed memoir that followed on Penguin Books. In recent years he has toured and opened shows for M.Ward, Rhett Miller, and Violent Femmes and his songs have been featured in movies and on the CBS shows Instinct and NCIS:Los Angeles. ... more

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